


Endorphin

by drowninships



Series: You and I Have Great Chemistry [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Some Swearing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, he's actually rly gay, he's clueless, idk what this really is, it's very science-y, keith just wants to understand, lance is oblivious, rly tho, this is like semi-crack tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 01:56:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8691949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drowninships/pseuds/drowninships
Summary: Keith finds himself smiling back at Lance and it’s first time he learns that happiness that isn’t always riding in breakneck speed. It’s also settling down in a home.-In which Keith Kogane feels all sorts of things whenever he looks at the Blue Paladin and so Coran helps him figure it all out -- with the help of science, of course. (Part 1)





	

**Author's Note:**

> this started out as a joke i swear

**1.**

_\--_

_I had a dream the other night_

_About how we only get one life_

_\--_

* * *

 All that Keith Kogane really knows is that whenever he looks at Lance McClain, paladin of the Blue Lion and ex-cargo pilot back at the Garrison, he used to be filled with a twinge of annoyance and the desire to rip his hair off. Whenever the guy so as much blurted out a cringe-worthy pick-up line -- much to the princess of Altea’s and his dismay -- Keith can’t help the automatic roll of his eyes and the longing to be _anywhere else but there._

But you see, there’s not much Keith could do while he’s stuck in space with only four other humans (unfortunately, one of them being Lance) and two aliens from a planet that was long destroyed.

So when Keith Kogane takes another glance at the blue-eyed human incarnation of nails on a chalkboard, instead of feeling like he’s being driven up the wall, he wants Lance to _push him against the wall_ and maybe put his mouth to _other_ uses other than blurting out cheesy pickup lines -- it fucks him up in all ways possible.

And apparently, his internal existential crisis had not gone unseen by the royal adviser and designated uncle of the team (as appointed by no other than Lance fucking McClain) because Coran now has him seated on the table and is giving him a lecture on goddamn _chemistry._

“Wait, wait, wait,” Keith says, holding his head in his hands. “You’re telling me that these--” he gestures vaguely around his torso, “ _things_ that I’m feeling are caused by chemicals in my brain?”

“I believe you humans call them neurotransmitters and hormones,” Coran says cheerfully while putting up a holographic screen in front of them. Numerous bright green diagrams with words Keith couldn’t care to read -- all the more _pronounce_ \-- fill his vision and suddenly he’s feeling a little nauseous.

“So you’re saying that you could help me understand what I feel through… chemistry?” Keith says, a little skeptical.

“Of course, young paladin,” Coran says as he swipes the screen to the right, not quite finding what he was looking for. Keith’s vision blurs as the words and charts swim past his eyes. Coran stops at a certain chart, all of which does not ease Keith’s confusion

“Though it might be within your interest to know that these are not just _ordinary_ biochemicals,” Coran explains, pointing to the top of the chart. When Keith sees what’s written up there, he bursts out in undignified laughter.

**_The Human Chemistry of Love_ **

“You-You think I’m in love with Lance?” Keith wheezes in between breaths.

Coran blinks at him, unamused. “Well, what else could it be?”

“You’ve got this all wrong, Coran. How would you explain my wanting to toss him through a wormhole just a few weeks ago?”

“That’s easy - you weren’t quite in this situation just yet. Do you still want to chuck Lance out a worm hole?”

Keith blinks, “Well, when he’s being an ass-”

“How about when he’s not being a- what is it? A rear end?”

Keith nods and mulls it over, “Well, he’s funny at times, so he’s apparently not as inept as I thought he’d be when it comes to making me--” Keith catches himself, “And _other_ people laugh. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“Be patient, boy! Here, let me tell you all about it.”

Keith scrunches his nose, not believing a word Coran was saying. But not wanting to hurt the man’s feelings, he indulges him. Coran zooms in on a particular diagram. In big, bold letters, Keith reads the word _Endorphin_.

_“You see, Keith, Endorphins are associated with the feelings of attachment as well as comfort.”_

 

* * *

 

“Due to disorderly conduct, you are hereby _expelled_ from the Galaxy Garrison,” Iverson says, scowling at him from beneath his hat. Keith can’t help the shame that fills in his chest. But at the same time, he can’t help the anger that clouds his mind, too.

“I just wanted to know what really happened to the Kerberos Mission. I know what you’re telling the public is a lie,” Keith spits out, clenching his fists. He doesn't miss the evil glint in the man’s eyes.

“What we have released to the public is all you need to know, Kogane. Though curiosity is a skill that should be developed, it is not to be tolerated if you use it to break into our files and at the same time, deliberately knock out a high ranked officer for having caught you in the act.”

Keith lets out a hollow laugh. “I know you’re keeping something. Shiro could not have caused a pilot error. He was the most skilled pilot the Garrison ever had .”

Keith’s heart shrinks a little at his use of the past tense. Shiro was _not_ dead. He refuses to believe it.

“And apparently the Garrison has lost yet _another_ gifted pilot today. Pack your bags, son,” Iverson says coldly. The man swiftly turns on his heel, leaving Keith alone to his thoughts.

For the first time since he’s snuck in the staff room two days ago, he feels the weight of the consequences of his actions. Sure, he was impulsive and most of his skirmishes landed him at Iverson’s office, but he always had somewhere to come back to. And whether that was in his own bunk or at the flight stimulator (which was his favorite place to be), Keith always had a place to rest his tired bones.

He admits to himself that may have truly fucked up this time.

After a few minutes of staring idly into nothing, Keith makes his way back towards the barracks, head hung low. But much to his irritation, as he’s nearing his own quarters, he bumps into no other than the cargo pilot who seemed to have had a problem with him ever since they were put in the same class.

“Woah there, Mullet,” the guy -- Lance? Or was it Leo? -- says as they nearly collide noses. “Having a shit day, huh?”

Keith scowls at the boy in front of him. “Looks like you got your wish, asshole. You’re now in fighter class.”

“The name’s _Lance_ , not asshole, _asshole_ ,” apparently-Lance says, “And before I even scream at your face that I told you so, why exactly am I even being moved up to fighter class?”

When Keith doesn’t answer, Lance’s face splits into a shit eating grin. “Don’t tell me you got expelled.”

Hearing the words come from Lance’s mouth does something to Keith’s chest because suddenly, it constricts. Lance, who had somehow always been a constant pestering figure in his stay at the Garrison, is one face he wouldn’t necessarily miss, but would hate not seeing again. Not seeing him would be equal to not being able to fly the stimulators or not being able to ever achieve his dream of becoming an actual pilot.

He doesn’t give Lance a reply and instead pushes past him to walk towards his room.

 

* * *

 

 _“_ _Endorphins also have the ability to diminish the perception of pain,” Coran says, entering a few words onto the screen. Keith is incredulous._

_“You mean a pain in the ass is helping me not feel pain in my ass? How does that even work?”_

_Coran glares pointedly at him and this shuts him up._

 

* * *

 

Once Keith is done shoving what little of belongings he owns, he finds Lance waiting for him outside his door.  

“What do you want?” Keith says, not stopping as he makes his way down the hall. He can’t help but roll his eyes as he hears scurrying footsteps from behind him. He’s not surprised when he finds Lance walking right beside him, an expression of uncertainty written on his face. Keith sees it in the way Lance’s eyes don’t glisten underneath the white fluorescent lights and the way his smile isn’t the right side up. Keith finds himself taking in the details of his self-proclaimed nemesis, not wanting to forget a single thing about the Garrison — not even Lance McClain.

“You’re really leaving?” Lance asks, a small frown forming on his usually cheerful face. Keith thinks it doesn’t suit him.

“Thought you’d be happier than that,” Keith says, making a sharp left. Lance doesn’t slow down his stride, having no problem with keeping up with Keith due to his annoyingly long legs.

“Oh believe me, I am,” Lance scoffs but then shifts into a more serious tone. “But where will you go?”

Keith wants to bite back and ask Lance why he really cared - it’s not like they talked outside of their classroom bickering. But something in Lance’s soft tone and the way his emotions shown like a view from a see-through window causes his sarcastic remarks to die down his throat.

“I’m not sure,” Keith finds himself admitting. He hauls his duffel bag higher up his shoulder just so his hands could do something other than limply swing by his sides. “But I’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, you probably will,” Lance says quietly, like he’s not sure if he wants Keith to hear. Keith does. “After all, you’re Keith Kogane.”

Keith doesn’t get to ask what Lance had meant because as he turns another left when he nears the exit doors, Lance disappears down another hallway. Keith watches his lanky frame disappear in the shadows.

He doesn’t understand why, but he leaves the Galaxy Garrison feeling lighter than he had felt back at Iverson’s office. It’s the first time he’s felt anything remotely close to hope ever since they had announced the Kerberos Mission Failure.

He’ll find a way back -- he just knows it.

_Afterall, he’s Keith Kogane._

 

* * *

 

  _“Usually, when one is afraid, E_ _ndorphins allow one to cope by providing a feeling comparable to that of calm euphoria or happiness.”_

_“Euphoria?”_

_“It’s a feeling of intense exciteme-”_

_“I_ know _what it is, Coran.”_

 

* * *

 

Keith watches the night sky erupt in bright yellow flames.

Alarms ring in his ears and he watches as around four Garrison trucks ride their way through the sand towards the opposite side of the building -- right where he wants them to be. He lowers his aircraft down to the ground, and hops off before he’s even fully landed. He adjusts the bandana that covers the half of his face, blocking the sand as it sprays from his abrupt landing.

Keith crouches down on the ground, looking left and right to see if any of the officer were still roaming about. The coast seems to be clear.

He makes it inside he makeshift holding room without getting caught, eager to see his friend whom he hasn’t seen for over a year. Things were going quite smoothly, although when he opened the door that he presumed Shiro was in, he sees three men in protective gear. As his natural instincts go, he repositions himself into a fighting stance, ready to kick ass if it was called for.

The three of them look up at the sound of the door sliding open. “Hey!”

Without as much as a sweat dripping from his brow, he knocks the first man over, watching as he tumbles over some kind of expensive equipment. The second one comes at him and Keith just as quickly send him flying over the table. The third raises his fist, but Keith being a little faster, punches him square in the jaw, leaving him to fall back on even more equipment and slowly crumple to the floor.

Keith blinks and surveys the damage he’s made. Eh, the Garrison could afford a replacement.

His eyes land on the center of the room where a familiar figure is strapped down on the table. A cold hand squeezes his chest as he hops over one of the fallen men and stops right beside the table. He pulls down his bandana, finding it harder to breathe as he turns the face of the unconscious figure towards him.

 _Shiro_.

A rush of emotions pass through his face and the only thing that he manages to say is Shiro’s  name. With newfound anger, he quickly swipes the knife off his belt and cuts through the fabric that binds Shiro to the table as though he were just slicing a cake. With as much strength as he could muster, he hoists Shiro's arm over his shoulders.

At this, Keith suddenly feels the fatigue settling in his muscles. He doesn’t know how he’ll manage to drag the unconscious man and himself out of the place before the officers come and find them. He couldn’t get caught - not again. He wasn't going to give the Garrison another chance to screw him over like it already had.

His prayers seemed to have been answered, albeit in a weird way, because as soon as he looks up, the doors of the room slide open and a familiar face pops into view. It had been a year since he had seen anyone from the Garrison and honestly, fuck his poor memory because he couldn’t quite put a name to the face. But he’d know those blue eyes anywhere. He remembers how they glint in the fluorescent white light - the way they’re angrily doing so now.

“Nope. No, you-- No, no, no. No, you don't,” The boy says, pushing the examiner’s table to the side. ”I'm saving Shiro.”

Keith frowns as the guy takes up Shiro’s other arm, taking up half the weight. Don’t get him wrong, he’s grateful, but--

“Who are you?” Keith blurts out, not being able to help himself. He feels like he should remember this guy’s name.

“Who am I?” The guy scoffs like he’s offended. “Uh, the name's Lance.”

Keith’s frown only goes deeper because he vaguely remembers a Lance somewhere in his past. When Keith’s expression doesn’t shift, Lance tries again.

“We were at the same class at the Garrison?”

“Really? Are you an engineer?”

Lance looks at him, offended and disbelieving. “No, I’m a pilot! We were, like, rivals.” Lance’s face scrunches into one of ferocity. “You know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck.”

The moment Lance put their name side by side, it hits Keith with full blown intensity. He remembers Lance walking past him in the hallway, being his loud obnoxious self. He remembers Lance making side comments about his hair from the back of the class. He remembers catching him one night by the observatory building, sniffling as he stared at a picture of what Keith assumed was his family. He remembers Lance being the last face he sees before leaving the Garrison. He remembers.

“Oh, wait. I remember you,” Keith says like he’s trying to pass it off as nothing. He decides to screw with Lance a little. “You're a cargo pilot. “

Lance visibly frowns at him. “Well, not anymore. I'm fighter class now, thanks to you washing out.”

Keith can’t help the sudden feeling of a knife in his heart. He regards Lance with a cold stare. “Well, congratulations.”

Keith takes a step forward, not warning Lance beforehand. The boy nearly trips and in result, causes his arm that is wrapped around Shiro to lower slightly, grazing Keith’s arm. Keith doesn’t quite understand why he feels a slight elation at the mere touch from his apparent public enemy number one. Despite the craziness of the situation -- his friend who was presumed dead had come back after being abducted by aliens, he had just set off an explosion right in front of the school he was booted out of, and that this very school was just about to haul his ass into jail for breaking and entering and _quite possibly_ theft -- there is a sense of belonging that he feels amongst these people who had risked so much just to be here at this precise moment.

They get to his vehicle and Keith shortly assesses the probability of them crashing and falling to their deaths. He’d just have to make do. After all, he had already suggested to toss off some nonessential weight (which he would like to say is Lance, though what his chest tells him is quite different).

Keith smirks at the sound of the three conscious people screaming behind him as they lean dangerously towards the right.

“Guys?” The big guy in yellow yells from the back. “Is-Is that a cliff?”

For the first time in a long while, Keith truly breaks into a genuine smile. “Yup.”

He hears them yell once more as he drops off the cliff. He notes that Lance’s scream is the loudest. He will never let the guy live that down. As they approach the ground, Lance stops screaming momentarily to yell at him.

“What are you doing? You’re gonna kill us all!”

Keith grins, hearing the dread and fear in Lance’s voice. Oddly enough, it provides him a calm sense of euphoria.

“Just shut up and trust me!”

At the last second, Keith pulls up.

 

* * *

 

_“Okay, I think I get it. I remember the time we found the Blue Lion. I remember feeling--,” Keith pauses, afraid of saying more._

_The kind look in Coran’s eyes urge him to spit it out -- in the most uncle-way of course. Keith frowns, not wanting to open up more than he just nearly did. He looks down at the table, fingers knotted together._

_Coran takes his silence as a sign to continue. “Endorphins also_ _help bring about feelings of happiness and general well-being. It’s much similar to a drug that some humans take -- are you familiar with Morphine?”_

_“You’re telling me that I could get addicted to Lance?”_

_“Not quite, but are you?”_

 

* * *

 

The first time Keith sees Lance really smile after not having seen him for over a year was when he took Blue flying for the very first time. They had just found her in the cave that he had stumbled upon earlier in the year.

He sees it first when Lance manages to pull off a poorly executed loop that leaves Hunk turning green. “You are the worst pilot ever!”

Lance ignores him and focuses on the landscape in front of them. As soon as he gets the lion to steadily tromp through the uneven terrain, his face breaks into the widest smile Keith had ever seen on a person. It has him hooked like a moth to a big ass flame and he almost lets go of the back of the seat.

“Isn’t this awesome?” Lance yells. Keith watches his expression shift from an amused one to a childish, brighter one. Keith remembers the way Lance’s smile always seemed to adorn his face. He sees the way the last streams of daylight brush across Lance’s face like a lights show. It envelops his face in warmth, the golden rays of the sun leaving shadows on his face and traveling across the strands of his brown hair.

Keith is hooked like a patient’s first taste of Morphine after a near-death experience.

 

* * *

 

_Coran’s question hangs in the open air._

_Keith untangles his fingers and leans back against the chair, legs splayed beneath the table. This cannot be happening._

_“Well?” Coran prompts._

_“I think I am.”_

 

* * *

 

The second time Keith sees Lance smile bright enough for the sun to burn in jealousy, he’s walking up the corridors of the castle, looking for his room.

“So you did figure it out,” Lance says, easily catching up to Keith’s strides. Though Keith doesn’t really have the time nor the patience to indulge this seventeen-year-old child, he can’t really do anything about it. That and he almost forgot about Lance’s abnormally long legs.

“Figure what out?”

“A place to go to,” Lance answers, not looking at him. “A home.”

“I wouldn't exactly call it home,” Keith says, thinking back at his dingy shack which he had left behind millions of lightyears away.

“You’re right, that place was a shithole,” Lance snorts. “But you’ve found _this_ place.”

Keith watches Lance’s hand gesture around the castle. Lance continues, “It’s definitely not home, too.”

Keith tilts his head in confusion, peering at Lance's face. He's always been golden to Keith.

Lance smiles and suddenly Keith’s breath seems to have been snatched away from him. “But we could make it one. Looks like we’ll be here a while.”

“How?”

Lance laughs. “You’re stuck with ya homeboy, Lance,” he points to himself.  “You’ll figure it out.”

“Because I’m Keith Kogane?”

“Right. Because after all, you’re Keith Kogane.”

Keith finds himself smiling back at Lance and it’s first time he learns that happiness that isn’t always riding in breakneck speed.

It’s also settling down in a home.

 

* * *

 

" _And that, my young friend, is Endorphin,” Coran says, zooming the screen out._

_“Wow, that was a lot wordier than I thought it would be.”_

_“Oh, we aren’t done yet,” Coran grins as he pulls up into another diagram._

_“There’s more?” Keith whines and although his exterior betrays him, Keith wants to hear the rest of it._

_“Meet_ Norepinephrine _.”_

 

* * *

  _\--_

_Woke me up right after two_

_Stayed awake and stared at you_

_So I wouldn't lose my mind_

_\--_

**Author's Note:**

> lmaoooo stay put children there's more where that came from
> 
> (also hmu on twitter @bakazooya)


End file.
